Lost Its Spice

I have no more interest in cooking. I mean, I do, somewhat, because there must be a reason why I doggedly go to work everyday and just do the mundane things I do in the kitchen, and then face the echoes of a slamming locker door before I head out into the dark lonely night to an empty house each day.


Maybe it's just because the hours are so long, and it keeps me from thinking and missing him even more.


I just think, that although I love to cook and to eat, I do not possess the character necessary to last long in this industry. I don't have what it takes to become a chef - a person so strong in will, discipline, organisation, speed, strength, knowledge and with the artistic flair and epicurean tastebuds. 


I should just finish up my 6 months and then go look for an office job. Start living life like a normal person, with normal hours. Besides, back at the house, I have no one to cook for.


Losing him has made me lose that joy and spark in wanting to cook. So what if I enjoy good food? Tons of people who don't work in this industry enjoy good food. I think, I am more *pause* *deep breath* a foodie than a chef.


So, this is probably the last entry (or last few) for this blog. Shortlived, but exciting while it lasted.